Monday, December 27, 2010

Do You Hear What I Hear?

I love early morning, before my family gets up. It's a bit silent, and it gives me a chance to wake up without any interruption or demands. I'm not a morning person by nature, but I've been forced to be one due to being a wife & mother.

My favorite phrase in the whole world: wife & mother. I had always dreamed of being that. The last few years have seen everything upended. There wasn't one event that started it, no one catalyst, but I'm seeing through a fog for the first time in a long time.

It's the fact that I have so much good in my world. I am married to an amazing man. He works hard-and weird hours-to provide for us. He takes care of the house, us, cooks, cleans & does laundry. He even grocery shops! I got lucky.

My son is amazing too. I look back 4 years ago, and where we were...unbelievable! Completely different children, on so many levels.

I have so much good in my life, and for a long time I didn't quite see it that way. I wouldn't call it a depression, it was the fact that I was overwhelmed by life. This time sitting on my recliner has allowed me to think and decide what I want back in my life. There are things that I realize are broken and I don't want any part of anymore.

There's this part of me that envisions me as someone who's a lot perkier than I come across. Think Kelly Ripa, who happens to be the same age I am, someone.with boundless energy. I used to be an energizer bunny but a.funny thing happened i.slowed down.

Part of it was due to aging. Another part was due to other commitments that drag on me. Yet another is the lack of a healthy diet and exercise program. Not.enough sleep also fuels things.

At this time of year, people think about new year resolutions. I don't make them because they don't work. What works for me is to focus on one thing each month for the year.

I haven't done that for the last several years, and I know there's a difference in my world.

2011 is going to be different.

It's a rebirth for me post op. I know I feel almost giddy with anticipation.

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