Do You Hear What I Hear?

I love early morning, before my family gets up. It's a bit silent, and it gives me a chance to wake up without any interruption or demands. I'm not a morning person by nature, but I've been forced to be one due to being a wife & mother.

My favorite phrase in the whole world: wife & mother. I had always dreamed of being that. The last few years have seen everything upended. There wasn't one event that started it, no one catalyst, but I'm seeing through a fog for the first time in a long time.

It's the fact that I have so much good in my world. I am married to an amazing man. He works hard-and weird hours-to provide for us. He takes care of the house, us, cooks, cleans & does laundry. He even grocery shops! I got lucky.

My son is amazing too. I look back 4 years ago, and where we were...unbelievable! Completely different children, on so many levels.

I have so much good in my life, and for a long time I didn't quite see it that way. I wouldn't call it a depression, it was the fact that I was overwhelmed by life. This time sitting on my recliner has allowed me to think and decide what I want back in my life. There are things that I realize are broken and I don't want any part of anymore.

There's this part of me that envisions me as someone who's a lot perkier than I come across. Think Kelly Ripa, who happens to be the same age I am, someone.with boundless energy. I used to be an energizer bunny but a.funny thing happened to.me: i.slowed down.

Part of it was due to aging. Another part was due to other commitments that drag on me. Yet another is the lack of a healthy diet and exercise program. Not.enough sleep also fuels things.

At this time of year, people think about new year resolutions. I don't make them because they don't work. What works for me is to focus on one thing each month for the year.

I haven't done that for the last several years, and I know there's a difference in my world.

2011 is going to be different.

It's a rebirth for me post op. I know I feel almost giddy with anticipation.