Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Joy to the World

I went to the mall today. Usually this brings a certain level of anxiety because I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. Since I was a plus size, I couldn't wear a lot of things. My choices were severely limited due to size restrictions. For some strange reason, most plus size clothing is in loud, obnoxious colors and unflattering shapes and styles-all for exorbitant prices. I hated to shop as a result.

This trip, however, was different. I went to old navy, which I love (gap on a budget). Prior to my previous surgery, most if not all my casual wardrobe was from old navy, gap, express & forever 21. My work wardrobe was from talbots, Ann Taylor, lord & taylor, macy's & banana republic.

I had a great wardrobe & I loved clothes. Once I got supersized, I stopped really caring. It wasn't just not liking shopping, it spread to other aspects of my appearance, and then onto my life.

1. Since I couldn't wear the clothes I wanted to, why should I bother with my hair anymore? More often than not, I didn't bother doing anything with it. I would occasionally get inspired, but it wouldn't last.

2. The same thing with make-up, its been hit or miss regularly. I do like to look pretty. I like getting my nails done. The fact that most days I'd skip steps 1 & 2...well, its the fact that there was something underlying with how I looked.

Sure its superficial, but I was so unhappy with how I looked, that it just infected everything else about my life.

All it took was trying on sweat pants in old navy. I used to wear a xxl, and that barely fit. Now I figured minus humpy, I'd be an xl. I was wrong.

It was too big.

I'm a large.

Woo hoo!

Just this small revelation starts that avalanche into play. It inspires me to be more.

More focused on looking good.

More focused on eating better.

More focused on health.

More focused on my house looking as good as I do :)

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