Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Walk like an Egyptian

Today I got beck on the treadmill. Seriously. My doctor told me it was ok. Pre surgery I ran at 3 mph with an incline of 3 for about 20 mins. Right now I am struggling with a flat treadmill barely at 1 mph.

Baby steps, I need to remind myself.

I still have an infection, and I am seeing the other surgeon today. I am completely frustrated, and I just want to feel better. I want my life back. Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I'm almost a month post op, and I.am not feeling better.

The little man I can tell is getting frustrated by my lack of progress. I do a little, I need a nap. I still can't bend or pick him up. He wants brownies & I can't bake. Yes I am totally frustrated.

I was able to.help. him in the shower the other night, and I feel like a real mom again.

I helped at the table with his homework, and that made me feel human.

I'm just waiting to be better, and its not happening. I am a very healthy woman, with an infected surgical wound. I've been on now my 3rd antibiotic. My next option would be an iv one. I've had the doctor mention the possibility of a wound vac to speed healing. My skin is irritated from the tape and dressings. I'm tired of having to put packing in my infected hole. I'm dealing with a nasty yeast infection on top of it all which makes me even more irritable. And I still have incredible pain at the infection site.

I want my life back.

Little by little I am reclaiming it.

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