Thursday, October 27, 2011

Stuck in a moment that I can't get out of

Im in a rut right now, and I'm so caught up in the moment I can't quite see a way out. To make matters worse, it's not of my own doing and I have no real control over this particular set of circumstances.
Im at an incredibly vulnerable point in my life, and to be quite honest, I hate being in this position. I know in my heart and soul that I have done all that I can and given 110%. In fact, we all have made incredible sacrifices with very few expectations in return.
When you are in the middle of the whirlwind, you are in survival mode: just the basics you need to live can be met. Due to that, right now I am less inclined to exercise or eat right. I am struggling with my closet, because there are few things that make me feel pretty right now. I've re-started my passion for fashion feature, and looking at the pictures of me, I'm frankly stunned.
I live with myself 24/7 so I'm not always cognoscent of changes. Seeing it in glorious color I look tired, haggard, drawn. My hair is frizzing because im overdue for a haircut. I've got bags under my eyes that Kate spade envies. The stress is showing. It's not a figment of my imagination...I look like crud.
And others have told me that as well.
Gee. Thanks.
In the last few months I've seen myself be incredibly distracted, more tired and less apt to practice self care.
Since im in the middle of the muddle right now, I don't quite know which end is up. However, I do know that from past experience, this too shall pass. I will come out of it a changed woman. I am hoping that it makes me better, stronger, more caring. And that will make it all worthwhile.

3 comments:

Berowne said...

To be in the middle of the muddle, we've all been there done that.

MaryA said...

Everyone can relate to this. And no it probably isn't a figment of your imagination, but of course all things in life are temporary. This too will pass.

Sheilagh Lee said...

hang in there and find some time for you if you can to relax and do something for you.