Unfortunately, most of the time we wind up with negative nellies and Debbie downers who just want everyone to be as miserable as they are. It's a subliminal form of control: they can't stand seeing other people being happy.
The unfortunate part is there are more negative folks than positive out there. They seem to congregate around the happier folks too, like moths to a flame. It seems that their soul purpose is to crush happy people's spirits.
As the old adage goes, haters are going to hate.
And they do.
It seems as if a percentage of the population suffer from schadenfreude. Shylock is their hero, and they demand a pound of flesh from the happy and non bitter. Somehow I don't think that their sunday school education included Romans 12:17
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.[a] Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
If you are of a more secular persuasion, as Barry Manilow sang:
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you
Instead, it seems as if there are more angry, nasty, vindictive people who are lying in wait for the happier people to have a bad day or a momentary lapse in their bliss. Using the concept of Occam's Razor, we are shaving away to the basic concept: there are people who just want others to be as sad and miserable as they are.
To wit: a friend of mine was visiting with other moms before a PTA meeting. She just lost all the baby weight and had gone back to work and was feeling really good. Several of the other moms channeled their inner mean girls and made catty remarks (not to my friend's face, of course). During the meeting, these girls (and that's how they were behaving) sat in the row behind her, continuing to make comments. By the time the meeting was over, she was ready to burst into tears.
We were talking over lunch the other day about it, and it still upset her.
We teach our kids to be nice; to not say anything if we can't say something nice. We teach our kids to be good friends to each other, to overlook differences and try to find common ground. One of the blessings of autism is my son doesn't understand nuances-he calls it like he sees it. If you're mean, hes going to call you on it. Sometimes I wish I had that freedom to just say it.
The sad thing is bullying doesn't end once we graduate from school, it just takes on different facets. It happens in PTA's, the gym and even *gasp* the yoga studio. I just wish we can take what we are teaching our kids and apply it to our lives. We need to look for the good in everyone else, just like we teach our kids to. Practicing namaste-the light in me salutes the light in you-will help make the world a better place.
3 comments:
So very true... I try to stay away from catty women like that! Life is much more enjoyable if we surround ourselves with positive people.
http://lkharris-kolp.blogspot.com/2012/02/wednesday-offering.html
Sheilagh Lee has left a new comment on your post "Don't Bring Me Down":
i agree with you as my grandmother and mother always said if you can't say anything nice keep it to yourself and if you have chance to do a kindness don't think just do it.
The Bible and Barry Manilow. Awesome.
Everyone's got opinions, but not everyone gossips. I don't know that I agree the nattering nabobs of negativism outnumber the silent positives. I think they just talk more and, as you so beautifully say, are drawn to the warmth and light like moths to the flame.
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