I've Got the Joy

One thing that I have decided on this year is to manifest more joy in my family’s lives. This centered on my working to manifest joy in my own life, and then spreading it to the rest of them. It goes with the old adage, if momma ain’t happy, then no body’s happy.  I needed to work through some issues before I could focus on bringing about more joy in our lives.

 

One of the greatest gifts I can give to my family is the gift of being present. I need to be conscious and aware, not merely there. My son brought up the fact that I spend a lot of time on my ipad (guilty). I try to justify it by showing him I’m reading a book on there vs. an actual book, but he’s right. I am there with him, but I am not WITH him. It led me to thinking about other times where I was present, but not in presence.

 

I am making a conscious choice to actively engage in bringing about joy in our home. I set a very clear intention, and am now in the process of making it so. I read the book the Joy Diet (and yes, it was on my ipad) and Martha Beck has some great ideas on how to bring about more joy in our lives. There was also a lot that wasn’t quite practical for my life or my family.

 

The decision to be focused and aware is part of her ideal of connection. We need to feel that connection to the greater world. No man (or woman for that matter) is an island, and we are all interdependent on one another. For my family, that connection also involves playing together. When our son was younger, it was physically getting on the floor and building Legos or playing hot wheels with him. Those are some of my most treasured memories. Now that he’s older, we have other ways of playing. We race our bikes around the block. We play video games. Play is an essential part of growth and learning for children-and it needs to be for adults as well.

 

Playing for us usually winds up with laughter. According to the Joy Diet, we should aim for 30 LPD-laughs per day. It sounds like an easy task-until you actually start keeping track. I honestly thought I laughed more than I really did. It made me to be more focused and aware-and actively seeking out funny things. My family and I find different things funny, and its great to experience what we like. I adore Monty Python, and despite seeing all of the movies and Flying Circus episodes a gazillion times, I still fall over laughing.

 

One of the more difficult suggestions Beck offers is to spend 15 minutes a day doing nothing. I am a wife and mom who works full time and has a litany and laundry list of things to be doing. However, I am committing time to meditation every day, and I am counting this as my 15 minutes. I am working on getting the boys on board, but so far they have proven challenging. The other task I am struggling with is finding a moment of truth every day. I need to spend more time working on that before I can bring it to the boys.

 

She encourages folks to determine what they desire. Not the surface, materialistically things but what you really and truly desire. We are starting a family vision board, and its very enlightening because I didn’t realize how aligned our visions are. There are the silly things-sports cars, designer shoes, fancy tools-but there are some other things like a trip to Disney Land or a garden. Its also encouraging us to have discussions on where we are as a family and where we would like to head.

 

One of my favorite tools Beck suggests is the use of treats. She doesn’t just mean food (although that works just fine), but anything that jazzes you. Its another form of a happy list. The trick is to give yourself permission to partake and enjoy your treat, which for some folks like me, is a difficult task.

 

The final tool is feasting. Again, this isn’t just food. It’s a feast for the senses, whether its sitting out on the deck enjoying the sunset or snuggling on the couch watching a movie. The key is that it is a ritual, that sets your feast apart from the rest of the day. It's something that feeds you physically, emotionally, intellectually or spiritually. The other key is that you need to be grateful and show gratitude for it.

 

For one of our new year, new you resolutions I put my family on a diet. We’ve never been happier.