Monday, August 18, 2014

I'm not Perfect

Out I have wasted a lot of energy and living because I wasn't perfect. I've tried to make myself someone I wasn't in hopes someone would like me. I've said yes to a lot of things I should have said no to, because of a need to be perceived as perfect.
I've stayed in friendships and relationships for too long, tried too hard with them to live up to a standard that was impossible. 

I've been told my teeth are ugly and gross, so they didn't want to kiss me. I've stressed out over motherhood more than I care to admit.
I have felt that I'm never good enough. A lot of times I feel I don't do things "right". When that happens, I freeze. I become paralyzed. And I can't move forward.
I'm too loud, I call too much attention to myself, I'm not pretty enough, I don't dress right...the list goes on and on.
I'm slowly working on curing this need for perfection. It's so hard when you've caught yourself up in these lies. It's only now, in my almost mid 40's that I'm realizing that I'm pretty awesome. I'm beautiful in my own way. I'm outgoing. I'm enthusiastic about life. I am deeply committed to my son and ensuring him to lead his best life. I'm talented, smart, and faithful. I work to make the world a better place. 
If people can't accept that, then i guess they aren't accepting me, and they have no room in my life. I know that sounds mean and harsh, but after you've wasted as much time as I have in my life worrying about what other people thought...you would be the same way.






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