Self Esteem

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.”

Psalm 139:1-6 NIV

http://bible.com/111/psa.139.1-6.niv

One of my biggest struggles in life is self esteem. I really have a hard time believing that I am worthy of anything, most especially all that I've been blessed with.(and believe me, I've been blessed beyond measure)

When I start feeling like that, I go to the Psalms. David, most beloved, King of Isreal, ancestor of Jesus, was very human. He was a blatant sinner, and despite his lofty position, also struggled with feeling worthy. 

I love the reminders pointed out in Psalm 139. God knows us. He knows everything about us. He knows when we do right-and wrong. He is present with us no matter what we do. 

If God thinks I'm so special, to spend this time & focus on me...then there must be something pretty special about me. 

Born This Way

For years, I never set new years resolutions. Instead, on my birthday, I'd reevaluate the past year and set goals. I didn't last year, and I can really notice the difference in my life.
There is an under current of uncertainty and drifting along that has ruled my life, and I'm really not happy about that.
It's a brand new year in my life, and time to chart a new course.
Organization has evaded me, and I'm tired of searching for things. I'm tired of clutter starting to encroach and entrench itself. It's time to put an end to it. First things first, I need to reclaim my life. I've laid so much of this groundwork with my life coach, it's now time to act.
I declare myself as CEO of my life. That means I'm ultimately in control of it all. I need to take care of me, for me. That means putting my oxygen mask on first and meeting my needs before I attempt to do that for anything else.
I also have to stop trying to please people. If they don't like me for me, they don't like me period. I can't change your mind no matter how hard I try.
I will never be like anyone else, I was born to be me. I walk, talk, look, act, laugh, cook, clean, work and do all else like me. Anything else would be a pale imitation.
I can't focus on organizing or anything really until I focus on me. Starting now...and go!