Sleep the clock around

I have had a nightly routine for years that helps me wind down and get to sleep. I do moon salutations, write in my gratitude journal, rub on magnesium oil and have my herbal tea.

It's a beautiful way to wind down, especially if it's been a hectic, crazy day. I love transitioning from my awake time to getting a good nights rest.

I used to buy boxed teas, but they aren't always pure or even contain the real deal. My local health food stores (and in Sioux Falls, I'm pretty lucky because I have a few great choices) carry loose herbs in their bulk foods section. I bought chamomile

nutmeg

and valerian

, all of which promote sleep. 

I add them to a tea ball and let it steep in boiling water for 15 minutes. You can either drink it as is

or add milk and honey.

Then lay down for restful sleep.

These Dreams

Last night I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that I was in some sort of dormitory or camp cabin, on a cul-de-sac in the middle of suburbia. I was there with my son, and tour buses were dropping off the belongings of others going to similar cabins on this circle. We had to pay in meat, and I chose flank steaks.

That’s not the weird part.

Henry Rollins showed up in my dream.

For those unacquainted with who Mr. Rollins is…where have you been for the last 30 some odd years??

Just kidding…he was the lead singer of Black Flag back in the day. I saw them several times in concert. One Salt Lake City show was even documented in the great band on the road memoir, Get in the Van. I’ve been a huge admirer of the fact that this guy is the total package-actor, writer, musician, spoken word-whatever he wants to do, he does. To me that is being the ultimate punk and completely cool.

So, in my dream, Hank (I guess I can call him that, since he popped up in my dream quite randomly, might I add), just kind of shows up at suburban cabin. Then, despite his intimidating stature (believe me, I’ve stood in a mosh pit directly beneath him at the Trocadero in Philly. The boy is big) and persona, he decides to give me a massage. Then he cuts and styles my hair. I wind up with this really awesome, sleek and straight bob. There is some discussion of BFF’s and being the yin to the others yang. So deep and meaningful.

All kidding aside, I have kept a dream journal for years. When I little, I suffered from night terrors and it helped when I would tell someone about them. As I grew older, they subsided, but I did continue to have vivid dreams. Sometimes, they have lingered with my like a hangover. Others have caused some issues in my waking life, because someone in my reality did something in my dream and now I am upset with those actions. I can have a recurring dream for a length of time, too.  There are folks-like Rollins-that randomly pop up, seemingly without context. I’ve tried to use a dream dictionary to make sense of it all, but nothing truly makes sense according to those. One of the first things I do when I wake up is write down my dreams (or snippets, if that’s all I can recall) in my journal.

 Its great for tracking how stress levels or illness affect my dream life. I have learned that I have incredibly vivid, bizarre dreams when I am stressed to the max or fighting off an infection; when I am at peace, less so.

Alternatively, I have also dealt with a lot of sleep issues throughout my adult life. I have a hard time shutting my mind off, and as a result, can battle insomnia from time to time. At one point in time, my doctor even prescribed sleep medications for me to use-which were worse than the insomnia. They led me to a dreamless sleep. As I work to decrease my stress levels, my bouts become fewer and further between.

I do have a pretty standard bedtime routine, which does help. It starts with a cup of sleepy time herbal tea. Next onto writing in my gratitude journal, with some gentle yoga following. About 20 minutes before I plan on sleeping, I take a melatonin pill.  I use magnesium oil on my legs and stomach, which seems to help me sleep more soundly. I put a concoction of coconut oil with peppermint on my feet along with my sock booties (I can’t stand my feet being cold). I also use a guided relaxation/meditation that I downloaded on the Omvana app. The more relaxed I am when I get into to bed, the less likely I will be blighted by insomnia.

 

Magnesium oil

1 c distilled water

1 tsp magnesium flakes (found at health food stores)

 

Mix together and add to a spray bottle. Use at bedtime

 

 

Sleep Don't Weep

True confession: I have been plagued by sleep issues for a good chunk of my life. I had horrible nightmares as a child, and today I deal with insomnia (the type where I wind up waking up at 3 AM and cant fall back asleep). As a result, I could relate on some levels with the protagonist of the new movie, Sleepwalk With Me. I had the opportunity to see it as part of the Cinema Falls series at Icon Lounge this past Sunday.
I had heard an interview with Mike Birbiglia on NPR, discussing the movie. It evolved out of his one man show that ran at the Bleeker Street Theater in NYC back in 2008. Before becoming a movie, it made a pit stop as a New York Times best seller. Ira Glass from NPR’s This American Life was a writer and producer on the film as well.
Loosely based on his own life, Sleepwalk With Me, traces the journey the main character, an aspiring comedian has with a sleep issue. Called rapid eye movement disorder, it causes him to act out his dreams. This can be both equally hilarious. One scene shows him attacking his hamper, thinking it’s a jackal. Another shows him winning a gold medal and then falling off the podium onto the floor. The absolutely terrifying is him jumping out a hotel room window and requiring medical treatment for his injuries.
When Matt’s anxiety level increases, his sleep issues do as well. His fledgling comedy career causes some stress, but not as much as his relationship does. He has been with his college girlfriend, Abby, for eight years and they are no closer to marriage than they were in the beginning of their relationship. He is commitment phobic, she is not. They move in together, and his anxiety/sleep issues intensify. After his sister gets engaged, he realizes that he doesn’t really want to be married and Abby does. To make matters worse, she has dozens of episodes of A Wedding Story and A Baby Story on the DVR.
My husband and I took a very circuitous path to the altar. We were together for the most part for almost a decade before we said I do. I don’t know if we were truly commitment phobic. I know that I was having a lot of fun in my 20’s, and I also had a lot of personal struggles. I would not have been able to take care of my grandmother at the end of her life had I been married. I also would not have been able to travel as I did when I was single, or go to artistic events like the symphony, opera, ballet and theater if I were married. I learned to cook and swing dance and make pottery. I belonged to writing and reading groups. All of that would have been tempered by family responsibilities. I do know that I appreciate the fragility of life more because of the experiences of my 20’s. I lost my dad when I was 26 to colon cancer. His illness and subsequent death made me more appreciative of life, and more willing to be a force of nature to get what I want. My own sleep issues intensified after my dad’s passing, where I was once again plagued by nightmares. As quickly as they started, however, they stopped. It was as if my psyche was processing my grief.
I can relate to Abby’s increasing anxiety over not seeing forward progress in her relationship. When it seems as if all your friends are getting married and having children, it can be hard. There was a year where I was truly always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Deep down, I really wanted the dream wedding, the adoring spouse, the house, the white picket fence and the perfect children. Abby was me at that point in my life, in many regards. Following Matt’s sister’s wedding, Abby realizes that she’s been holding on forever to the promise of her dreams coming true. She goes out for the night, and returns home, drunk. Matt, realizing that he will lose her if he doesn’t commit, makes a half hearted proposal. Abby embarks on planning the dream wedding, Matt cheats on her with a hooters girl, and eventually crashes out the window. Obviously, this will not end well. Abby and Matt break up, and he eventually goes to the sleep study his father has nagged him about throughout the whole film. Told as a first person narrative, as Matt goes about a daily routine in Brooklyn (hipster paradise!), it is a conversation on how he got to his current state of affairs (including sleeping in a sleeping bag, with mittens). It’s a great cinematic trick, because it drew me in. The supporting cast was brilliant-how can you not be funny when Carol Kane is your mother? Lauren Ambrose, from the late great Six Feet Under, shines ethereally as Abby, the long suffering girlfriend. The right combination of beauty and quirkiness, she is completely believable as Matt’s cheerleader, biggest fan and constant supporter. Her morphing into the desperate bride wannabe is equally truthful.
Usually, when I hear about a movie and there is a lot of buildup around it, I am inevitably disappointed when I see it (for example, The Royal Tennenbaums). This was not the case with Sleepwalk with Me. It truly lived up to all the advance publicity. I am so happy that there are others like me in Sioux Falls to support independent cinema, and willing to come out on Sunday evenings to see films. The venue, Icon Lounge, is a converted warehouse with a terrific vibe. I went with my mom, who uses a walker. Icon’s handicapped entrance is on the side of the building, and she got to ride on a lift-which was worth the price of admission! We got there a little late, so our seating choices were limited, but we got a good spot. Since it was dinner time on Sunday night, we had to get some yummy nibbles. I had the ratatouille tarts, which were an amazingly good choice. They were superbly divine. My mother had the chicken tacos, which also were delish. We split an order of guacamole and chips. Their chips tasted more like wontons than tortillas, which was a pleasant surprise. Even better was the guacamole-light, fluffy, with the perfect amount of seasoning.
All in all, it was a great movie and a great night out!

I'll sleep when I'm dead

Little man came into my room last night, and asked me to come sleep with him. He said he was having nightmares, and I could protect him. Awwww...

First time ever he asked that, by the way.

So, me being the most excellent mommy that I am, I did. I'm very congested right now, so I guess I was snoring a little. Everytime I snored, I got an 8 year old elbow-ING me in the ribs. Needless to say, not very pleasant or sleep conducive. Add to it, 2 people sharing a twin bed, one of those people being me. And a bright light on.

So, after the little man fell asleep I snuck off.to my own bed.

Which had been invaded by animals & a husband. I guess the fact that i moved, I lost my place. I repositioned everyone & got into bed.

Next thing I know, bright light on overhead, and the big man is getting up & dressed. So...toss and turn, toss and turn, toss and turn until my alarm goes off. I hit snooze and I actually sleep. Deeply. Better than I had all night.

Too bad it was for 5 minutes.

Needless to say, I really didn't work out this morning. I kept hitting that snooze button.

When I finally rolled out of bed, I did get dinner started, and put up a load of laundry, so I was somewhat productive.

Tonights culinary pleasure: chicken stir fry.

Cooked chicken

Cooked rice

3 carrots shredded

1 bunch scallions, diced

1 c frozen peas

Teriyaki sauce

2 eggs

Spray a large saute pan or wok with cooking spray. Add carrots & scallions, saute 5-7 minutes. Add chicken. Heat through, add rice. Add teriyaki sauce & peas. Cook an additional 7 minutes. Move food to one side of pan, add egg. Scramble & incorporate into rice.

Serve hot!

homemade wontons

Tubthumping

It's Wednesday, my least favorite day of the week. Thursday mornings run a close second. I usually feel hungover from a lack of sleep, which has been kicking my butt lately.

A friend of mine who's a yoga teacher on the other side of the world told me that airborne before bed and in the morning will help with that cloudy headed feeling. At this point, I'm willing to try anything, so guess who will be getting some more airborne!

She also suggested that I really need to eat clean to purge my body of all the toxic sludge that's building up in me. She suggested a detox tea as well...apparently a cup of that daily will cure me of my ills, as long as I do other healthy things to support it.

Another suggestion was an epsom salt bath, and drink mineral water at the same time frame. Its supposed to balance you out. Massage is helpful too.

So, at this point I'm tired of being overtired, cranky mommy. I need to kick my butt up a notch & work on regaining my energy level. Surgery is still affecting me, whether I want it to or not.

It can knock me down, but I get up again (nothing is going to hold me down)